from by Justin Blackburn

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The Life Of An American Plan

When I was a child
my perfect plan was to lose my virginity
candlelight prom night
to everyone’s favorite limelight volunteer
Johnny American Straight A Football
at a Four Seasons listening
to “American Bad Ass” by Kid Rock.

Instead I was raped
on my thirteenth birthday
in a Michelin Building
by Tim The Tool Man Taylor
at a Jonas Brother’s Concert
listening to The Real Slim Shady.

Justin Blackburn

Poem from my latest book "You Are Not A Normal Human Being" available at or (copy and paste into browser)


from Failure, released January 11, 2012
written by Justin Blackburn
produced by Amelia Hall



all rights reserved


Justin Blackburn Comedy/Failure Asheville, North Carolina

Hi, my name is Justin Blackburn. I perform stand up comedy and this is my first Comedy Album entitled "Failure." If you like the album and want to purchase the full album, please contact me at If you find the album so hilarious that you want me to do a stand up performance at your venue, house, etc, please contact me at Thank you. ... more

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